There were so many challenges in my life as a child, being Mennonite, epileptic and abused and how they all played into each other with circumstances and the people around me. I think that being Mennonite with my parents’ beliefs, religion and community putting me in an environment where I had to be passive, complaint and not think for myself.
If I would have been taught to respect and valued myself more and spoken up about things maybe I wouldn’t of been abused. I don’t know, I know that being sexually abused and living in fear, sin and confused about life put me in the path of other situations that created a dark place for a long time in my life.
All of those things have been woven into the tapestry of my life and now I can accept and forgive myself and others but it took a long time. I often wished I had lived in a different community or religion with a regular family. Now I thank God for my parents and realize they only taught and raised me from what they knew and don’t blame them. These things happen all the time in many families. I would have changed the situations and people in my life and hopefully made better choices but who knows in the realm of reality what it would have been. I am happy where I am now as an empowered woman and the direction my life is taking me.